Red West - Chapter nineteen

16. února 2014 v 15:53 | Witch
A/N: Small belated Valentine´s gift especially for Akiko-chan, but also for everyone else who reads RW. ^^
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Chapter nineteen
THE KISS


Jin had no control over his body. That itself was strange enough, but even more surprising was the fact he didn´t mind it. He didn´t feel even the slightest hunch of disapproval, when his hand finished the intended move, catching Kame for the right arm just below the shoulder, when his feet moved a little, coming closer to the stiffened bartender and his head lowered down to get to those lips which seemed as the most attractive thing in the world at that moment.
He didn´t think about what he is doing; he just didn´t want to let the other one leave the room.
Already from the day before, his mind was overfilled by the blurry memories of the gentle hands touching him and of the soft voice calming him down. When he was ordered to stay in the bed on the clinic, he couldn´t get those thoughts away, wondering how it would feel like if he was more conscious on that night.
And now, Kazuya´s presence was like a strong magnet, which was slowly drawing him closer and closer, which Jin hasn´t even realized, until his mouth reached the destination for which his heart desired.
*
Kame´s eyes went wide in surprise, when Jin´s lips touched his. He didn´t quite understand, that something like this is really happening, but he couldn´t even make his brain to think and figure it out.
At first he basically froze in the time and space. It was not that he didn´t secretly yearned for this, it was just too unexpected.
Then his common sense tried to tell him that he should rather push himself from Jin away, but that order was stopped by the indescribable feeling, which changed the original defensive purpose of his hands movement and he let them rest on the firm chest in front of him.
Jin´s mouth was dry and hot and tasted after the rum which he gave into his tea. And his kiss was short, hasty and very awkward, but it revealed some of the hidden passion at the same time, and that brought the crazy shivering into Kame´s stomach.
Jin pulled away from him breathing out heavily, painfully anxious expression in his features, but he didn´t release his firm grip around Kame´s arm even a little.
Their glances met again, falling into each other, finding almost equal volume of burning emotions in them.
And then it was Kame who gave up on his own body control. He couldn´t bear it anymore, he was not able to just stand there motionless; it was too much for his poor restraint, to which he was clinging since the moment he realized that he is attracted to Jin. He let his desire to go free, not even realizing that he was holding it back for a very long time.
There was no space for a logical thinking, when he leant to Jin for another kiss. He pressed against his slightly open mouth so vigorously, that he almost made them both to fall down. Fortunately, Jin found his balance fast and put the other one of his hands on Kame´s waist, making him steady. But he was stiffened like a stone for a second, which squeezed Kame´s lungs by the horrible uncertainty, almost causing him to choke on it.
But then Jin´s body softened again and he captured his offering lips as he wanted to conquer them once and for all, pressing Kame back, against the wooden door.
Any doubts disappeared into nothing. Kame wrapped both of his arms around Jin´s neck, going to meet his efforts and when he felt a little hesitating probing touch of Jin´s wet tongue on his lower lip, he invited him inside his mouth without any hesitation.
It was like turning their minds off. There were only various emotions swirling in both of them like a tornado and strong attraction, which took the reins over their actions.
Their kiss became passionate, when Kazuya´s tongue started to fight Jin´s one over who will have the upper hand.
Kame almost couldn´t breathe, as the hotness and desire were flooding him. But it felt so good that he never wanted to break this connection.
And when Jin´s left hand went down, joining the other one around his waist and pulling him even closer, so that he could feel his firm body so near like never before, the blood came rushing into this head and the strange weakness reached his knees making them shake. Kame just thought that he will fall apart into tiny pieces, if Jin ever let him go...
*
Kame was so slim and suddenly seemed so vulnerable in his hold that Jin wanted to secure him in his arms forever without any second thought. That incredible passion, which he felt from his kiss and also from the body clinging to his own, made him shiver. And it woke up something so strong inside of him, that it felt like he will suffocate on it if he stops kissing the guy.
How the hell was even possible that it felt so damn exciting and... Good?
Jin felt Kazuya´s long fingers on his skin and the hot tongue playing with his own, obviously not willing to stop any time soon. Not that he would mind it, but when he let his own passion to express itself into the kiss, grabbing the guy for the waist, he felt Kame shook from head to toes and he surrendered to Jin, giving up their match and letting him inside completely. And Jin found himself not satisfied with that, he wanted more, he wanted to feel more from Kazuya...
When they finally broke the kiss, both at the same moment, it was when they were completely out of breath.
For a few long tense seconds, Jin wasn´t able to create any proper thought in his mind. He couldn´t keep either his breath or heartbeat calm and it was pulsating in his ears so hard, that he was sure the other one hears it. His body was flooded by feelings, from which he recognized mainly excitement, nervousness and… Desire.
He was the first one to open the eyes, which he didn´t even remember closing.
Kazuya´s dark eyelashes, interesting angle of his eyebrows, small proud nose, slightly opened pink lips, all of those were the decorations of the beautiful face to which he was so close he could feel the warmness from his skin. But it was not only the face which trapped him in this amazed state. It was the tickle of his hair, short hasty breath, the warm touch on his own neck, where one of the small palms was resting, the fast movement of his chest, which he felt so close to his own, the slim waist for which he grabbed him before. And also the arms which were wrapped around his neck, fingers of one buried in his hair.
There were so many perceptions he could feel just from the single person in his arms it was shocking for Jin.
He didn´t know what to think about it, he couldn´t think. Until Kazuya´s eyelids moved and revealed his eyes too. And their color was so yellow, that it looked they were glowing and Jin was hopeless against these eyes.
Kazuya´s eyes…
"That was…"
Jin stiffened like he was turned into an ice statue. It was Kame´s hoarse voice, which brought some thinking to his mind.
What did he just do? He kissed… Kame?
That was a stupid question, of course he did… Wrong. It was what they did, not only him.
It was hard to admit that, but somehow he felt the urge to capture those lips in front of him for some time now. Definitely since his meditating lonely trip through the woods. And in the end, he couldn´t resist. Hell, he wanted to have them again right now.
He wanted to taste them and knowing how Kame took care of him, when he was sick and being alone with him in this small room, he couldn´t stop anymore. But he expected that Kame will stop him. That he will resist, fight back, anything. And that will make his stupid imaginations give up finally. But Kazuya not only didn´t stop him, he didn´t pull away. He returned his kiss…
Oh, no… This... Was not... Right. This is… Wrong.
It was a furious fight, which was held between his pounding heart and what he felt and between what his logic reasoning and education said. And mainly what was implemented into his mind as good manners, those were screaming loud at him, that what he did was awfully bad. Despite the fact his heart was saying something completely different. He was suddenly too scared to hear it saying, that something what felt so good cannot be bad.
And Kame probably saw this inner fight of his too, because his dazed expression changed slowly. Into the non-understanding, concerned and then upset. And he froze as Jin let his hands go of him slowly and took a step back, so that Kame´s hands fell down alongside his thighs without the shoulders to lean on.
"I… I´m… Sorry," that was all what Jin was able to get out of his mouth.
*
Kame knew it. Deep down, he knew that he shouldn´t give in to his foolish hopes. No matter what Jin felt, no matter that he was the one to initiate the kiss, he was not going to accept this.
"I shouldn´t do this... This is so wrong. Kame, I´m really sorry... This is..." Jin kept blabbering helplessly.
I shouldn´t... I´m sorry…
That was an ice-cold shower on Kame´s dizzy head.
Jin probably let himself to be carried away at that moment and as soon as he did, he regretted it. That only made Kame´s throat narrowed, stuffed by the bitter feeling. But one word which came from Jin´s mouth was the worst.
Wrong.
Jin considered what they just did as something wrong.
Kame himself felt a lot of things, when those full lips were in the hot contact with his, but thinking about it as ´wrong´ was definitely not among them.
Jin was standing there more than two steps away already, as he moved from him hastily, his whole stance tense, ruffled hair half-covering his face, but despite that Kame knew that he is avoiding his eyes.
"I´m… I´m really sorry…" Jin mumbled desperately, when he didn´t say anything.
But that was not what Kame would like to hear. Everything what he wanted to tell him before he turned back from the door, everything what was flooding him as an avalanche and made him so excited, he buried it deep down and made himself forget about it right away. He had to, he wouldn´t be able to even speak if he didn´t.
"Stop apologizing," he said on a harsh voice, he couldn´t recognize as his own. "Just stop."
*
That grating tone full of suppressed emotions pinched Jin to the chest, making his stomach squeeze. With the bad feeling he raised his eyes to look at the bartender, but Kame was the one looking away this time. His soft expression, which was there only moments ago, disappeared in nowhere and the slight wrinkle between his eyebrows and stiffened jaw replaced it.
"I think I should go."
That cold voice, which seemed like not belonging to Kazuya at all, spoke again. Jin´s lips still a little wet from the kiss parted as he intended to say something, but his brain was like the empty barrel. He had no idea what he should say.
Kame turned away from him, he opened the door, left the room and closed behind himself again.
Jin stared at the closed door, totally dumbfounded, feeling torn apart on two. He wanted to run after and stop Kazuya from going away, but he also heard the other part which was yelling at him to stay on the spot and not ruin anything else. Because he screwed up big this time, right?
He sat down on the bed slowly and his eyes spotted the mug, which he put away back on the night stand in a rush, when he went after the younger guy. The mug with Kazuya´s special rum tea.
He liked him, he was attracted to him and he felt so well, when he was in his company.
But Jin still couldn´t comprehend fully, how they ended up... Kissing. Because they shouldn´t do something like this. It was against... Against what he was taught, against what was considered as normal. It was not right to have this kind of relationship with the other man.
But... Why the hell it felt so good then? Their kiss awoke so overwhelming feeling in him that he still felt his knees shaking.
He did something stupid, but... Why didn´t Kame stop him? He returned his kiss; he was completely open to what he did, and... And he seemed so hurt when he left...
Jin covered his face by both palms, leaning down totally helpless.
What the hell did I do? And what will I do now?
***

The main door opening and also the following steps of incomer were so silent that not being for the creak of slowly rusting hinges, which were holding the door on its place for quite some years already, neither the aging lady nor her young visitor would realize somebody just came inside the house.
Lena let go of her cup with the hot tea, smoothing her sleeves hastily and brushing some invisible dirt away, before her eyes focused on the kitchen´s entrance with the excited expectation shining in them. Rosie noticed the sudden change in the girl´s behavior and observed her pretty face with the aching sympathy.
It was brighter than a sun itself how much fond of her son Lena is. At least for her, as another woman. It didn´t seem that Kazuya realizes that or more likely, he wasn´t interested in the girl in that way. He liked her a lot, but as far as Rosie knew her son, Lena was like a younger sister to him. But she still hoped that he may find the taste in her; it would be nice to have a daughter-in-law like this polite and cheerful girl.
Rosie was so afraid that the incident with that hundred times cursed Math Grenet discouraged her from involving with their family ever again, as she didn´t come over even once since then, but in the end she came, with an apologetic smile and temptingly smelling content of the small basket.
By the corner of her eye she caught the slim figure´s appearance, on which Lena reacted with the shy smile and greeting.
"Good evening, Kame..."
Rosie turned to look at her son, too.
"Welcome home, dear."
"Good evening," Kazuya responded on a voice, which seemed somehow strange to Rosie right away.
And he also remained at the doorstep, not moving towards her and placing a loving kiss on her cheek as almost always.
"Lena brought some fresh cakes, would like to have some?" she asked him, observing his face carefully.
"No, thank you," he said. "I ate in the saloon."
This response made Lena obviously disappointed and Rosie worried. She knitted her eyebrows into the concerned line.
"Did something happen?" Rosie asked.
"No... No, nothing´s wrong, don´t worry, mother," Kazuya said in a way which made Rosie even more suspicious. She could always tell when her son was trying too hard to cover something up. "I´m just tired a little..." he continued and looked at the gloomy girl at the table. "I´m sorry, Lena, let´s meet up some other day, all right? I´d like to go to sleep early today."
"Ah, don´t worry about that, I understand," Lena tried to act too, nodding encouragingly. "I´ll come over again soon."
"Thank you," Kazuya appreciated it and without saying anything else he disappeared in the corridor.
Rosie looked at the girl, whose smile vanished almost immediately. That made her upset a little. No matter the circumstances, her son shouldn´t have behaved like that, turning Lena down, when she finally took the courage and came to see him again.
"I think I should rather go," the blonde said sadly and got up.
"Oh, wait a little! You still have some tea left, dear..."
"Thank you, Mrs. Rosie, but my mother is waiting for me," Lena excused herself, and after taking her warm shoulders plaid she left with her head held low.
*
Kame barely took his coat and shoes off, when there was a slight knock on the door and a face of his lovely mother appeared in the gap opening them.
"Kazuya? Can I speak with you for a moment?" she asked in a serious tone.
"Of course, mother, come in," he invited her, sitting on the bed and keeping his eyes down. "Did Lena go home already?"
"Oh, yes, she did..." Rosie responded, crossing her arms across the chest. "She came to see you, so she had no reason to stay longer when you behaved like you did."
Kame straightened up, when he heard an accusation in mother´s voice.
"As I said, I´m tired..." he said apologetically.
"You should have a better explanation, my dear son," Rosie interrupted him firmly. "Poor thing, she was so disappointed. Do you have any idea what it had to be for her to come here again? After what happened with the deputy?"
Kame sighed a little, trying hard to stay calm, as there were still a lot of emotions rushing in his head.
"I´m glad she is all right and..."
"I bet she is scared!" his mother opposed. "She is not stupid! She knows that Math Grenet is focused on us!"
That made Kame more pissed than guilty and he got up on his feet.
"What do you think about me, mother?" he reacted sharply. "That I want her to be in any danger? She didn´t have to come then! Who asked her to?"
"Kazuya!" Rosie gasped for a breath. "Don´t be so harsh! She just wants to help! She just likes you!"
Kame was frowning upset, not even thinking about an apology.
He didn´t have any spare energy for this. What was he supposed to do with the girl´s feelings? He already said more than once that he likes her, but like a sister and nothing else. She was not attracting him. Unlike certain handsome idiot only with revenge in his head... But he couldn´t let it slip from his mouth, not at that moment. So he kept silent, avoiding his mother´s observing look.
"What happened to you?" she asked again after a pause.
"Nothing!" Kame exclaimed, barely keeping his voice away from shouting. "Can´t you just leave me alone?"
The tense silence fell on the room then. Kame was staring into mother´s eyes now, seeing that she is worried and that he hurt her. And he already regretted it. She had nothing to do with his mood. He hadn´t even realized how much upset he was, until he snapped at her.
He took a deep breath and came closer to the gray haired mother, who was one of the most important persons in his life. And he intended to lie to her...
"I´m sorry... I really am," he said, putting both palms at the smaller woman´s shoulders. "I think I need some rest. Can we leave this conversation for later, please?"
Rosie stared at him for a while, not quite convinced, before she nodded in understanding.
"Of course... We can talk later."
"Thank you, Mum."
She soothed him across the arm gently and stepped out of the door.
"Good night, Kazuya."
"Good night."
And he was finally left alone.
Kame stared into the nothing for a while, before he turned back to his bed, made two heavy steps and let his body fall on it, hiding his face in the sheets.
But it didn´t help even a little. He couldn´t hide in front of it. He couldn´t deny how shaken up he was, he couldn´t make that hot intense feeling go away. He still felt that wet warmness on his lips, it was like those firm hands were still on him. And he was so damn sure he can never forget how that kiss from Jin felt. And despite of what it brought in the end, despite he was turned down right away, he couldn´t force himself not to want more.
When he saw him in the saloon´s swinging door for the first time, he would have never thought that Jin Akanishi will make his emotions turn upside down so easily. And now, he ended up here, huddling on his bed, giving his best not to start crying like a fool in love...
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Vocabulary:
restraint - zdrženlivost, sebekázeň
vigorously-- prudce
probing - zkoumavý
reins - otěže
perception - vjem
rusting - rezivějící
hinge - pant
huddle - schoulit se
 

2 lidé ohodnotili tento článek.

Komentáře

1 Akiko Akiko | 16. února 2014 v 19:15 | Reagovat

Arigatou gozaimasu, Witch-san!! Kore wa kawaii desu ^-^
I'm still admiring, how you can write everything so great in English, it's fantastic. I enjoyed this chapter but... Bakanishi! I can't believe he did this. Wrong? No, no, Kame wanted it too, so nothing is wrong. I hope Jin calms down and  returns to Kame. You make complications again, it's so thrilling!!! :-D
On the end Kame looked like little falling in love teenager. It was so sad :(

Arigatou!!!!

2 Witch Witch | 17. února 2014 v 21:11 | Reagovat

[1]: for Akiko:

You´re welcome, I´m glad you liked it that much. ;)
I appreciate your opinion, but there is still a lot of what I can improve and I´m still working on my English-writing-style.
As for Jin... I have to stand up for him. He was raised differently from Kame, I was thinking this over really properly, as I want both of them to behave naturally and according to what their characters are like.
And as you know – I love making up complications. XDDD
And Kame... Well, he is only 21 years old here and it´s the first time he experiences something like this, so... ;)

Watashi mo arigatou! ^^

3 Akiko Akiko | 18. února 2014 v 8:10 | Reagovat

[2]: I know it's other times and they're in complicated situation. On one side I understand Jin he is afraid and on other side he must feel Kame have the same feelings like he. Maybe it's worse for him he knows it but he makes nothing and have worries because of his surroundings... Complicated... I'm looking forward on next! :-)

4 Witch Witch | 19. února 2014 v 20:27 | Reagovat

[3]: for Akiko:

I have a feeling that the word “complicated” it´s not enough to describe their situation anymore. XD But that´s only my fault, I guess. :D
Anyway, I will try to post the next chapter on Sunday. ;)

5 Akiko Akiko | 20. února 2014 v 20:12 | Reagovat

[4]: I don't know too much english words what are worse than complicated :D Yes, this more-than-complicated situation is your fault. But I think you have some genial solution, right? :)

Thank you! Sunday... Mhm, it will be Kame's birthday ^-^

6 Witch Witch | 20. února 2014 v 20:28 | Reagovat

[5]: for Akiko:

Eeh, genial solution? o_O
I wish I had it. XD

That´s right, and I´m planning to drink on this occasion of course. :DDD

7 lilyane lilyane | 19. března 2014 v 10:35 | Reagovat

Oh, wow. So short chapter but still full of action. Its name was so promising... and also the beginning. My dream finally came true :-D.
Unbelievable description of their kiss 8-) but then? I thought that Kame will tell Jin everything about his feelings, but he didn't even got a chance... Even if I see the way Jin was mannered (that it's not normal - two guys) he shouldn't said that it was wrong. I feel so sorry for Kame - it has to be awful and painful hearing this word from Jin when Kame wanted to say something different... :-?
And the end - I completely understand the mood of Kame when he came home. But it wasn't right to Lena...I was a little shocked that Rosie found out Lena likes Kame by her motions. 8-O She is really loving mother and she knows her son very well. :-D
Poor fallen in love Kame - the end on the bed works on me unbelievably real.
And I agree with Akiko - he behaved like  a teenager :-D. Btw: How old is Jin - 23? :-?

8 Witch Witch | 19. března 2014 v 19:28 | Reagovat

[7]: for lilyane:

:D
Thank you, I´m proud you´re the next one who liked the kissing scene. :)
Jin´s attitude here is more than understandable, I guess... I was discussing this a lot, and I´ve always wanted my characters to behave logically, so... this was the result. But of course, very painful result for Kame. :/
As for Kame´s mother being so observing... It was not just on that evening only, she noticed that Lena is in love with her son some time ago already.
I´m very satisfied with the way I wrote the very end of this chapter, so I´m really happy you appreciated it so much. :)
Jin is two years older than Kame, so yes, 23. :)
Thank you once again!!

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